Up Side Down

Fuck Alberta

Fuck Alberta

(http://www.chrisbattaglia.com/fuckalberta)

cb@chrisbattaglia.com

The Ranting and Raving Continues

It has been awfully quiet here for the past few months. Perhaps that's because everyone's been over at chrisbattaglia.com, where I have moved my articles to.

If, for some bizarre reason, you've never heard of cb.com, I suggest you cut your losses and check it out now. You're missing out on insightful political commentary, some hilariously clever images, valuable critiques of current pop-culture, and me ripping in to people who piss me off without even trying.

And if you're too lazy or inept to navigate the site yourself and uncover its greatness, I'll point out some of the highlights:

• Why "Coldplay" and "System of a Down" Suck Ass
• Fox News: The Best Entertainment on TV Today
• Propaganda: My Anti-Drug
• So That's why George W. Bush Nominated Harriet Miers
• The Solution to the Iraq War
• Terri Schiavo: PVSILF
• Satirical News About the USA's Falling Empire Status
• The Whole Site

Enjoy, and don't forget to thank me for having the balls to say what everyone should be thinking.

This Anti-GTA:SA Campaign Has Gone Too Far

This recent campaign against Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas started out as something I found funny. A senator with too much time on her hands trying to fill the void of a failed Olympic bid, the hypocracy of being fine with brutal pixelated violence while going hopping mad over a little pixelated nipple, the hilariously pointless campaign to change the rating from 17+ to 18+... it was all very amusing to me.

But now, I'm no longer laughing. Now, someone has actually sued Rockstar Games because she bought the game for her 14-year-old grandson not knowing it contained sexual content. Yes, you read that right: a grandmother bought a game clearly labelled M for Mature (meaning 17+) for her 14-year-old grandson, and is now suing the company that made it because it wasn't appropriate for the kid. I better not be the only one who sees what a complete joke that is. It's the equivalent of suing Unversal Pictures after taking an underage kid to see Land of the Dead because there's a glimpse of boob amongst all of the over-the-top violence.

Why was this grandmother fine with buying her grandson a game in which he could shoot up cops and beat random pedestrians to death with a blunt object, but is mentally anguished enough to sue when she finds out there’s a sex scene hidden in between the piles of drive-bys and drug deals? If she didn’t know about the brutal (and highly entertaining) violence in the game, perhaps she should have erred on the side of caution and assumed the ESRB rating was correct in saying San Andreas isn’t meant for audiences under the age of 17 instead of handing it over to her pimple-faced grandson and crying foul after-the-fact. But no, that would require thinking and common sense, which is clearly a luxury commodity now.

It just amazes me that the people ratings systems are made for are the same people who completely ignore them. It amazes me further that people can sue because they can’t function in society, even with all of the safeguards that have been built in to protect them from themselves. Perhaps if we gave them giant lollypops every time they got upset they would be too pre-occupied to think about what it was that upset them. Or we could say “Fuck it” and put Mercury in their water (I’m sure they’d love the effect it would add). Either way is good.

I’ll finish this little rant with a link to an L.A. Times article that talks about how people are missing the mark when it comes to what is really having a negative influence on youth today. Of course, in a society so apt at missing the mark on every single issue it faces, I doubt many will pay much attention to this, because the hype is so much more fun.

Letter to the Editor

I have way too much time on my hands these days. For proof, take a look at what I did today: I wrote a letter to the Toronto Star in response to this letter, which appeared in today's paper.

Here's what I wrote:

[Letter Start]

Intelligent Design Is Not Good Science

            On the surface, Intelligent Design is simply a poor scientific theory, and one that should not garner much attention or respect from the scientific community.

            A good theory does not close the book on any further research, expansion, or adaptation of itself, yet Intelligent Design’s conclusion, that the cell is so complex it must have been designed by an intelligent being, is a closed end, one that seems to fit faith-based studies more than science. To simply throw up one’s hands and say “we can’t figure out how this occurred naturally now, so we never will” is very poor scientific practice.

            All of this leads me to believe that Intelligent Design is scientific by name only. When one examines it more thoroughly, what it truly appears to be is “scientists” approaching a subject with a biased outlook and working towards a goal that provides them with justification of their bias. In this case, it is simply something for the Christian Right to use to slip modernized Creationism into school science programs through the back door.

            Also I would like to point out that “atheists can no longer depend on their old-time belief that the universe has no beginning and always existed” is a very misguided statement. To imply that atheists say the universe has always existed in its current form is completely false. The Big Bang is a widely accepted scientific theory of how the universe came to be in its current state, one which most (if not all) atheists subscribe to as well. The theories as to what came before that are more varied and contested, but I have yet to meet a person who believes that the universe has always existed as it does right now.

[Letter End]

I've written to the Star before, after reading an article about people suing Rockstar Games because a couple of teens without brains got their stupid little hands on a rifle that their responsible parents left for anyone to just take, and shot some people in passing cars or something. It made it into the paper a couple of days later. That was in October of 2003 though, and I have a feeling it was a slow letter day.

Either way, I do hope this letter makes it onto the printed page, because that letter defending Intelligent Design was begging for an intelligent reply.

Xbox 360: Not All “Revolutions” Are Good

It seems like pretty much all of the buzz in the gaming world (that would be the world that mostly consists of dark basements and B.O.-infested LAN parties, or a combination thereof) around the time of this year’s E3 is focused on one thing: Xbox 360. This is, of course, the follow-up to that flop of a console that might as well have been called “hey, at least we have Halo.” Don’t get me wrong, the Xbox was graphically superior to PS2 and Gamecube, and Halo wasn’t its only worthwhile title, although it was the only one that truly gave the Xbox a little unique grounding in the console scene, but when you have a console that is basically a bunch of computer parts thrown into a big, heavy box made by a company that doesn’t know the first thing about customer satisfaction, it’s not exactly a recipe for success. PS2 was still the king after Xbox’s release, selling on the strength of game series’ like Grand Theft Auto and Final Fantasy, and Nintendo’s Gamecube was of course able to hold its own because they acquired the rights to some of the famous Sega game franchises, which padded Nintendo’s already astounding roster of classic games they have milked and milked and will continue to milk for as long as they can. Xbox may have sold a nice number of units, but when you’re losing money on each unit you sell, that statistic becomes rather worthless, especially when people are only buying your system to play Halo and Halo 2.

So, it would have made sense for the Xbox to go the way of all of the other unsuccessful attempts to enter the console world by tech companies: Panasonic’s 3DO and Nokia’s N-Gage come to mind (give it time, it will be remembered as a flop). But it didn’t. Unlike the other one-and-done ventures that bombed and then drifted off into console history, the Xbox has one very important thing going for it: Microsoft. Quite frankly, this is why I loathed the idea of a Microsoft gaming console; not because I was worried they would use a fresh perspective on console gaming to stir up good economic competition involving the creation of great games, but because I knew that Microsoft would not stop until they gained control of the market through the use of their bottomless pit of money.

It was clear from the start that Microsoft was not interested in actually giving consumers what they wanted, but were focused instead on eliminating the other console options by muscling them out financially. Watching all of the buzz surrounding Xbox 360 just makes this painfully clear. The ridiculous paid-programming spots Microsoft bought on stations like MTV and their buckets-of-money deal to get SquareEnix developing for 360 have me feeling very thankful that my interest in gaming has dwindled significantly over the past year. I just hope that Sony and Nintendo show Microsoft that they will survive, because when it comes down to the bottom line in gaming, it’s all about the game itself.

Oh, and both of those companies also have lots and lots of money, so that should help as well.

Amazing Calligraphy

A flickr user by the name of Ambiance-Moushkila has shared some photos of his amazing calligraphy in this set called simply ink.

Hitchhiker's Guide Trailer

The actual trailer was just released today. I must say, it left me with grin on my face. April 29th... :D

What are you waiting for? Watch it now!

2005 Should be an Entertaining Year

All current problems in the world aside, I am really looking forward to the next 11 months of this year. From an entertainment standpoint, 2005 is overflowing with potential.

Considering that the only worthwhile album released in 2004 was American Idiot, I'm very excited about this year's line-up of new material. New albums from Weezer, Alien Ant Farm, Audioslave, and the Foo Fighters have me counting the days on the calendar. All of these bands are extremely talented, and I haven't heard an album I didn't like from any of them yet. That's not even mentioning the touring that will surely follow the releases. These bands all play kick-ass live shows, and chances are by the time they hit Toronto, I'll have turned 19, meaning no more permanent-marker X on my hand at the club they're performing at. Score.

And let's not forget the movie adaptation of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy that is set to hit theatres on May 6th. That is either going to be very good, or very bad, and judging from the buzz I've heard so far and the cast/crew list, it seems to be leaning towards VERY good. Of course, there's no way to tell until it's released, but here's hoping...

Rock on.

History Revision 101 with Ann Coulter

http://movies.ziaspace.com/ann_coulter_fifth_estate.mov

Amazing. Good job Ann. I always figured you were an ocean of ignorance from everything you've said and done that I've seen, but this takes the cake.

How can someone like this be a respected political commentator? Explain this to me. Please do. It's mind-boggling. How can she even be respected by the most right-leaning people out there? Ann Coulter is the type of person you don't want on your side.

I think my drunk friends put it best after seeing this clip:

"what a dumb bitch"

"cunt"

I couldn't agree more.

Sorry Buddy, You’re Four Years Too Late

This past week, George W. Bush made his first visit ever to Canada as President of the United States. This is after canceling numerous planned visits to Canada, the country that pretty much all past US presidents made their first international visit to. I guess he is keeping to tradition though, as this is his first international visit after being legitimately elected.

The visit was supposedly to patch up Canada-US relations. Ha. We may be nice people, but we’re not morons. We aren’t going to shine your shoes as you’re walking all over us. Canada has been ignored and neglected by the USA for the past four years, and we aren’t very happy about it. To anyone who thinks Canadians our being ungrateful for all that the USA has done for them, name one reason from the past four years that you think that. From mad cow hypocrisy to SARS hysteria and, most notably, the ongoing softwood lumber dispute (NAFTA goes both ways jerks), we have been getting the shaft. It’s no wonder Canada-US relations are at a low of lows. One up side to the increasing distance between us and them is that our dollar is looking pretty good these days by comparison.

Bush thanked Canadians who welcomed him by waving “with all 5 fingers.” Apparently, that wasn’t too many. But hey, too all of those Americans who salute their Commander in Chief with less than all 5, come join us. We’re very nice people (if you don’t push us too hard), our economy isn’t falling as fast, we allow gay marriage, and best of all, George W. Bush hardly ever visits!